Date: April 7, 2008
Vol. XII, No. 7

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

COMMENTARY: THE JOYS OF COMPUTERS 

AGH! AGH!

Recently I had the bright idea of emailing invoices to CLN subscribers rather than using snail mail. Pretty smart, eh? Save time, postage, and paper. But the law of unintended consequences is true with computers, especially when the concept of "new" is involved.

I hired a database consultant who messed around (that's as technical as I get with computers – "mess around") and pronounced the system ready. Now, instead of printing hard-copy invoices that have to be folded into an envelope, sealed, stamped, and mailed once a month, the computer would email the invoices.

For two months we tried the new system, but apparently there was a small problem: most subscribers never received the invoices. The computer thought they had, however, so a month later the computer emailed a "reminder" invoice.

This time, finally, the system appeared to work, and renewals are coming in. (We sacrificed a goat to Microsoft during the last full moon; I think that's what made it work.)

So if you received a "reminder" or "final" invoice, and don't remember seeing an earlier invoice, I apologize. You probably did not receive it.

This snafu is mild compared to what new computer systems have done to other industry companies. Wang's put in a new computer system just in time for the Christmas season. The system didn't work; Wang's, a major importer of seasonal products, missed the entire holiday period and went bankrupt. Another industry company spent more than a million dollars on a new system, couldn't get it to work, and finally gave up and sued the computer company.

So if you're going to use a new computer, software, or application, remember: it probably will work eventually, but it won't work right away. And keep a goat handy.

Business-Wise. A veteran designer gives a thoughtful, thought-provoking analysis of why certain categories such as quilting/sewing and jewelry are hot and others are not. Read her thoughts and then contribute yours on perhaps the industry's most critical issue.

Newsbriefs. The report emailed 3/19 regarding Michaels' fourth-quarter and fiscal year earnings, and the announced resignation of its CFO, Jeffrey Boyer.

Kate's Collage. Memories of David Cunningham by friends and colleagues.

(Note: To read the columns, click on the title in the left-hand column. If it appears to be an old one, click the Refresh or Reload button on your browser.

In the previous issue CLN asked subscribers about classes (see below). Now it's time to discuss other forms of teaching – in-store demonstrations and make-it/take-its. How valuable are they? Are they worth the time, effort, and expense? Are they better/worse than classes? To vote, click on Industry Polls in the right-hand column or click HERE.

Many CLN voters do not think Michaels dropping all classes except for Wilton classes is good for the industry, although slightly more believe it will strengthen stores which do offer classes. Almost 40 % (36.1%) believe "Fewer people will learn to knit, paint, etc. It will hurt the industry." However, 41.7% say "It will strengthen other retailers who teach classes." (The difference between the two is probably not statistically significant in this unscientific poll.) Only 11.1% believe the pros and cons will cancel each other, and another 11.1% are not sure.

David A. Cunningham, 80, of Atlanta and Fort Myers, FL, passed away Mar. 26 after a brief illness. A Georgia native, David served in the U.S. Navy 1945-46, and from 1947-1952 he attended Emory and Georgia State universities. He is survived by his wife, Caroline; his children, Vicki Skinner, David N., Kerry, Al, Jon, and stepson Rob Hammond; and 10 grandchildren.

In 1952 the Krinsky brothers hired Dave to manage the Atlanta region of their retail/wholesale art materials business. The Southeast quickly became the company's most profitable region. Eventually David opened his own art materials retail operation, Southeastern Art Supply. It soon became evident to David that there was a strong need for a high-quality arts and crafts manufacturer, so he founded Cunningham Art Supply, which became a leading supplier in the fledgling craft industry.

In 1977 David sold the business and soon launched Plaid Enterprises, which has grown to become one of the industry's largest, most successful, and influential manufacturers. He sold Plaid in 1989.

In 1997 the Hobby Industry Assn., the predecessor of CHA, gave David the HIA President's Award, for "individuals who have made contributions to the industry through innovative marketing or merchandising programs, new product development, consumer marketing initiatives, and educational outreach activities which expand our industry's growth."

Plaid President Mike McCooey said, "I have always been grateful to Dave for starting one of the finest companies in our industry, and setting the stage for the most wonderful stint of my entire career – running Plaid. As you can imagine, he is still legend in our company. It was an honor to know him, and we grieve with Caroline and the rest of the Cunningham family."

Former associate John McDonald wrote on David's page at www.caringbridge.org, "His positive legacy on those people who had the opportunity to know him is something we would all aspire to, and from a business point of view the industry that he almost single handedly molded from its infancy is now a multi-billion dollar industry. The industry has become bigger than anyone ever thought possible. Everyone involved owes him a debt of gratitude for the contribution he made in shaping it."

Memorials can be sent to MARR, Inc., 2815 Clearview Pl., Ste. 100, Doraville, GA 30340. Attn: GiGi Barnes (800-732-5430).

(To read more about David, including the eulogy, visit www.caringbridge.org and type in davidcunningham in the "Enter website name" box. To read additional comments from friends and former employees, click on Kate's Collage in the left-hand column.)

Net income in the fourth quarter ended Dec. 31 was $4.7 million ($0.23/share), compared with net income of $4.9 million ($0.24) a year ago. Fourth quarter 2007 results include costs of $0.05 related to the inventory restatement, the closing of two stores and interest accrued on a tax settlement. The previous year's fourth quarter included costs of $0.05 related to a store closure and lease termination and management-change costs.

As previously reported in CLN, sales for the quarter were $177.3 million, down 10.4%, and same-store sales fell 4.5%. For the year, sales declined 5.1% to $559.7 million and same-store sales dropped 10.3%.

The net income for the year ended was $3.8 million ($0.19), versus a net loss of $0.4 million ($0.02) the previous year. Results for the year include the fourth-quarter costs, plus $0.04 related to a one-time legal settlement and management-change costs. The previous year's results included expenses of $0.14 for management-change costs and a store closure.

CEO Rick Lepley said, "We are relieved to have identified the inventory valuation error and culminate six months of hard work with the filing of our third quarter 2007 Form 10-Q and our restated financials next week.

"We are also pleased to have maintained a respectable cash position throughout the year," Lepley added. "While we have posted increases in gross margin rate and EPS, we must continue to focus on execution at the corporate and store level to improve profitability. This is especially important in light of the macroeconomic headwinds we may be facing in this second year of our three-year turnaround plan."

The stock market firm William Blair & Co. lowered its earnings estimates for the retailer, but maintained a Market Perform rating. "We remain concerned by the continued difficult sales environment in the near term," the company wrote in a note to clients. "However, for patient investors with a longer-term time horizon, we note that the current share price of $6.80 remains below the company's 2007 year-end book value of roughly $9.80 per share," the Associated Press reported.

BB&T Capital Markets analyst Laura Richardson maintained her Buy rating and said in a note to clients, "A.C. Moore reminds us very much of Michaels, which [BB&T] covered from 1998 to 2006, before it installed the inventory systems and made other changes A.C. Moore is working on today. These changes were key to Michaels' strong EPS and stock performance from 1998 to 2006."

The new CHA Member Networking Site allows CHA members to connect with each other to trade ideas and information on industry topics. Any member who wants input on a problem or to voice an opinion can begin a discussion or add to one. Here's how:

A. Enter the CHA Member Networking Site at www.craftandhobby.org. First time users click "New User Start Up"; others choose "Already Registered?" ... B. Use your email address on file with CHA and your individual password to create a user account and to login. ... C. Choose a forum (topic of interest), and type in your question, need, or comment. ... D. Return to the site later to see how CHA members responded.

If you have questions or difficulty signing in, email loginhelp@craftandhobby.org and include your CHA user ID # in your email. (Comment: This could be a very valuable benefit – if members use it. The more the merrier!)

Beginning on May 23, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia will debut Martha Stewart Occasions, a line of craft products that can be customized – including invitations, save-the-date cards, favors, decorations, and guest books – designed for birthdays, weddings, and other celebrations.

In a press release, MSLO officials said the products "are versatile and affordable alternatives to traditional printed products. With print-it-yourself templates at www.marthastewartcrafts.com, customers can print their materials from home computers."

The line is an extension of the Martha Stewart Crafts line and will be available at Michaels stores, select independent retailers, and at Martha's website.

Tomorrow Rosie O'Donnell launches her new book, Rosie O'Donnell's Crafty U on Good Morning America and The Martha Stewart Show. Published by Simon & Schuster, the book includes 100 projects for kids, at least 15 of which call for one of Rosie's favorite products, Plaid's Mod Podge®.

"We have designed Crafty U to be fun for the entire family," says Rosie. "In fact, that is exactly why I am doing this book – to inspire families to spend more time together crafting!"

Plaid is participating with a variety of activities including a contest with prizes of autographed books and Mod Podge products. Plaid is also supplying samples of Mod Podge for several of Rosie's book signings and other events.

In a recent episode of her tv series, Ellen DeGeneres asked Hillary Clinton that, if she became president, would she please ban glitter. The Arizona Republic quoted the conversation: "It should be banned. It doesn't warn you," DeGeneres said. "There's glitter on your fingers. There's glitter everywhere. Will you put a ban on glitter?"

Hillary answered, "What on earth would grade-school children do for their special projects? So maybe, maybe, what we do is we ban glitter for anyone over 12?"

Everybody laughed except Kathy Cano-Murillo, the Crafty Chica who's motto is "Crafts. Glamor. Glitter."

So tomorrow Kathy is sponsoring a rally outside DeGeneres' Burbank studio to spread the message of practicing "safe sparkle." It's Kathy’s way of educating Ellen and her viewers on loose-glitter alternatives that don’t leave behind the pesky flakes that the TV host hates. Kathy, who calls herself a "glitteraholic," says glitter adds light and beauty to our troubled world and thinks Ellen would agree – if only loose glitter weren’t so messy.

At the rally, Kathy will be demonstrating various "safe sparkle" glitter applications, so Ellen’s fans can share the sparkle without the annoyance. She and her friends will also create projects using glitter that will be sold on etsy.com with the proceeds given to Idol Gives Back, a charity event Ellen is hosting.

The rally is expected to draw a large crowd of supporters, including Mark Montano (as seen on the TLC Network and the author of The Big Ass Book of Crafts); Jenny Ryan (Community Marketing Manager for Craft: magazine); Cathie Filian (co-host of Creative Juice on the DIY Network); and members of the Los Angeles Craft Mafia.

(Didn't we just return from the winter shows?)

QUILTS. Tickets and the class catalog for the International Quilt Festival (consumer) in Rosemont, IL Apr. 11-13 can be ordered online at www.quilts.com.

NAMTA. The National Art Materials Trade Assn. show is in Reno May 1-3, with classes starting Apr. 30. Visit www.namta.org.

MEMORIES. Registration is now open for the Memories Expo show May 9-10 in Somerset, NJ. Visit www.memoriesexpo.com.

QUILTS. The Spring International Quilt Market (trade) is May 16-18 in Portland. Visit www.quilts.com.

STATIONERY. The National Stationery Show is May 18-21 in New York. For info, visit www.nationalstationeryshow.com.

BEADS. Online registration is now available for the Bead & Button show in Milwaukee June 1-8. (That's for classes; the show itself is June 6-8.) Visit http://beadandbuttonshow.stores.yahoo.net.

NEEDLEWORK. Online registration for the National NeedleArts Assn. members is now available for the show in Columbus, OH June 7-9. (Note: classes cost $20 less if you pre-register rather than at the show.) Visit www.tnna.org.

LICENSING. The Licensing Expo show in New York is June 10-12. For info, visit www.licensingexpo.com.

CHA. The theme of the Craft & Hobby Assn. summer show July 17-20 in Rosemont, IL will be Kids Crafting, and the show will have four major sections: Scrapbooking & Paper Crafts (stationery, stencils, rubber stamps, supplies, tools) ... Fabric/Quilting/Needlecrafts (fabrics, notions, sewing machines, embroidery, knitting & crochet) ... Art Materials (brushes, paints, frames, framing supplies) ... and General Crafts (craft kits, beads & jewelry, containers, storage, adhesive, and "basics"). For info, visit www.chashow.org.

YARN. Online registration is now available for the Knit & Crochet show July 25-27 in Manchester, NH. Visit www.knitandcrochetshow.com.

SEWING. The 15th annual American Sewing Expo is Sept. 26-28, in Novi, MI. Visit www.AmericanSewingExpo.com or call 248-889-3111.

PHOTOS. The Photo Marketing Assn. show will be Mar. 3-5 in Las Vegas.

Nominating Committee Chair Bob Ferguson (Ferguson Merchandising) announced that the Committee is accepting candidate nominations for the 2009 Board of Directors. CHA members may submit the name of a CHA member as a candidate to sit on CHA's governing body for a three-year term beginning in January.

Members can download the board nomination form by visiting the "Members Only" section of www.craftandhobby.org or request a copy by calling 201-835-1206 or emailing memberservices@craftandhobby.org. The deadline is June 1. Complete and submit the form to Bob Ferguson, Ferguson Merchandising, 15756 Redmond Way, Redmond, WA 98052-3830, faxing it to 425-869-5209, or emailing it to bob@craftsandframes.com.

The Committee consists of Beth Mauro, (Scrapbook Retailer); Pam Riddell (Maps-2-Memories and The Riddell Group); and Ed Rogala, (Midwest Products), elected by the members. Elected by the board are Bob Ferguson; Larry Olliges, (Dee's Crafts); and Maureen Ruth (Creative Marketing Solutions).

I am asked all the time. "What should I pay instructors?" by stores, "What should we pay designers?" by vendors. No one knows what to charge, what to pay, or where to go to find out. As a sales rep, when I design and teach for stores, I base my charges on sales volume. Most designers don't have that option.

When I design and teach for a vendor, it's like throwing fees at a wall to see what sticks. I don't know what to charge and they don't know what to pay. Ask around for help with the issue – in any group of 10 vendors you are likely to receive 10 different answers. It seems to me that price fixing aside, some guidelines need to be established. Until they are, how can anyone charge reasonably or pay fairly? – Trish Hansen (Note: To read more on the subject, click on Designing Perspectives in the left-hand column.)

1. For you CLN subscribers who have entered the industry in the last few years and are wondering why I've devoted so much space to Bill Mangelsen and David Cunningham, the answer is simple: You wouldn't have an industry to pay your salary without people like Bill and David. The industry formed and grew because of them and their colleagues, and it grew because they cared as much about the industry as they did about their short-term bottom line.

2. A subscriber was curious about the announcement that Michaels was dropping all classes except Wilton. But Wilton now includes E.K. Success, Dimensions, etc. I checked with April Willers, Manager of In-Store Events for Michaels who told me, "Yes, only the Wilton Cake Decorating courses and special project classes will be offered AT THIS TIME."

3. To send a note to former CNA Editor Karen Ancona and read about her battle against cancer, visit www.caringbridge.org and type in karenancona where it says "Enter website name."

DATA. An NPD Group study for the Photo Marketing Assn. showed the volume of prints made from digital still camera images rose 25% in January. Online ordering grew 58%, and printing volumes at retail minilabs and kiosks grew 17% and 29%, respectively. Retailers accounted for 48.6% of prints made in January, with 14.4% made on an instant kiosk and 23% sent from a kiosk/ordering station to a minilab. But demand for film and digital cameras dropped 11% Demand for analog cameras fell 46% and demand for digital cameras fell 10%.

COMPENSATION. AOL Money & Finance reported A.C. Moore CEO Rick Lepley received a salary of $320,833 and a bonus of $280,000. ... Alan Rosskamm, a Director and former CEO of Jo-Ann, sold 27,400 shares for $396,990, according to a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

COMPANY FOR SALE. Activity kits including Color Your Own T-Shirts and Color Your Own Posters. Many original designs including: science, nature, fun, fine art, etc. Educational, fun line with solid potential to be carried in museum, toy, specialty, and chain stores. Email mn@thejnet.com for detailed info.

KIDS. Have a kids' project that you'd like to have considered being posted on CHA's consumer website, www.craftplace.org, which averages 123,000+ visits/month? Send a supply list, instructions, an image of the completed project, plus the name of a designer, company, or URL to Tara Smith at tsmith@craftandhobby.org. Questions? Call 201-832-1223.

EDUCATION. CHA launched an Online Learning Center to provide members instant access to online learning opportunities. It includes audio CD's, MP3 audio CD's, streaming videos, and podcasts of seminars held at recent CHA winter shows. Prices vary, but are reduced for CHA members. Visit www.craftandhobby.org and click on Education on the horizontal navigation menu.

E-COMMERCE. Jo-Ann does not break out the sales of its e-commerce division, Jo-Ann.com, but in its year-end conference call with analysts reported e-commerce sales accounted for about 2% ($11.7 million) of its total sales of $585.9 million in the fourth quarter, Internet Retailer reported. CFO James Kerr said, "We think we can improve the gross margin that we generate today on the Internet business. Based on the structure of that industry where you also have the shipping costs, I don’t anticipate that we will ever have the Internet business match the retail store gross margins." Jo-Ann ranks #208 in the Internet Retailer Top 500 Guide.

TV. The 8th series of Beads Baubles and Jewels will uplink to PBS stations May 7. The series is hosted by Katrina Forte, produced by KS Inc. Productions, and sponsored in part by Beadalon; Interweave Press' Step by Step Beads, Stringing, Beadwork, and Step by Step Wire Jewelry magazines; iBead.com; Blue Moon Beads; Art Clay World; and Rings & Things.

MILLENNIALS. Did you miss Kizer & Bender's seminar on the subject at the CHA winter show? Carma Wadley, a reporter for the Deseret Morning News attended. To read the article, visit http://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695261731,00.html.

PRICING. Brand Week reported manufacturers are dropping packaging that includes the manufacturers' suggested retail price.

RECALLS. Hobby Lobby recalled Camouflage Eggs and Spinning Egg Top toys because of a violation of the lead paint standard. About 13,000 were sold from January to March 2008. ... MEGA Brands America which recently put its Rose Art division up for sale recalled about 1.1 million Magtastik and Magnetix Jr. pre-school magnetic toys because small flexible parts of the toys can detach and be swallowed. ... About 90,000 Wire-O Bound journals and calendars by Galison/Mudpuppy were recalled because the paint on the metal spiral bindings of the journals contains excessive levels of lead. ... Wal-Mart recalled about 61,000 Holiday Times candle holders because they could tip over, posing a fire hazard.

CHINA. The China Manufacturing Competitiveness survey by the Shanghai Chamber of Commerce found that more than half of the 66 foreign-invested companies responding believe China is losing its competitive advantage over other low-cost countries, such as Vietnam and India, the Associated Press reported. The companies surveyed, most of which were based in eastern China near Shanghai, said wages are rising an average 9-10% a year, with costs for raw materials up more than 7%, the report said.

JOB OPENINGS. Wilton is looking for three National Account Managers (NAM) for its craft division. Two will be based at the corporate headquarters in Woodridge, IL and sell to a variety of craft/hobby retailers. The third will be based in Bentonville, AR and sell to Wal-Mart. For more info, send a resume/inquiries to careers@wilton.com and reference the NAM-Craft and location preference in the subject line.

BIRTHDAY. Congrats to Dow Chemical on the 60th anniversary of the introduction of Styrofoam brand foam. What else was introduced in 1948? Computers, vinyl LP records, barcodes, Pez dispensers, Scrabble, Velcro, Frisbees, frozen French fries, and cake mixes. Download a free, 16-page home dec booklet at www.styrofoamstyle.com.

PEOPLE. Coats & Clark named Nancy Jewell, former publicity director for VSM Sewing, to the position of new business development-sewing. She will be responsible for the development of programs and product offerings to grow the company's position in the sewing marketplace. Jewell has spent most of her career in the sewing industry, most recently developing marketing programs in the after-markets department at VSM Sewing, parent company to Husqvarna Viking, Pfaff, and Singer dealer sewing machine business. ... Jo-Ann's board of directors elected two new members: Joseph DePinto, President/CEO of 7-Eleven, and David Perdue, Jr., former Chair/CEO of Dollar General. ... Scrapbooking.com magazine promoted Jami Petersen to Editor.

DATES. May is National Photo Month and National Scrapbooking Day is May 3.

STORES. Recently CLN reported on a Hobby Lobby in Broomfield, CO. Police received a 911 hang-up call from inside the store one morning before the store opened. Police found the back door open and a clerk tied up inside. Now the Denver media reports police have arrested the clerk on suspicion of false reporting.

STOCKS. A.C. Moore: $6.67, up $0.24 ... Jo-Ann's: $16.66, up $3.55 ... Wal-Mart: $54.40, up $4.58 ... Dow Jones: 12,609.42, up 5.5%. (Note: All changes in price are since 3/14 and are exclusive of dividends.)

SHOWS. Estimates of the attendance at the recent two-day Knit-Out & Crochet at the Mall of America in Minneapolis were 55,000+, up 10% from last year. This year there were more booths, demos, and special programs in the rotunda. New this year were a Kids Kraft area, Show & Share, Author's Forum, and giveaways. More than 800 people were taught in the Learn to Knit and Crochet areas. Hazel Tindall, a 55-year-old Shetland Island native, was crowned the winner at the World Speed Knitting Championships, held during the Knit-Out, lining up 262 stitches in three minutes on custom-made steel needles. Her closest competitor, Miriam Tegels of the Netherlands, who holds the Guinness World Record as fastest knitter, cranked out 243 in the same time span. Look for the event to be held again next February.

AWARDS. TNNA is accepting nominations from members for its Tribute to Excellence in Needlework award to an individual who has had a lasting impact on the world of needlearts by upholding the highest standards in needlework creativity, education, product development, and industry promotion. Forms must be returned by April 20. To download an application form, visit www.tnna.org/Portals/1/08TEN%20award%20nomform08.pdf.

INTERNS, I. TNNA is continuing its association with the U. of Akron with the Pathways into Professional NeedleArts (PiPN) intern program which gives college juniors and seniors a unique opportunity to explore the fiber arts industry. Companies participating this year are Cestari, Ltd., City Knits, Classic Elite, CNS Yarns, Coats & Clark, Dyed in the Wool, Fine Points, Knit One Needlepoint Too, Knitgrl, Knitting on the Square, KnitWhits, Misti International Alpaca Yarns, Needlework Unlimited, Original Sewing & Quilt Expo, Pick Up Sticks, Tahki Stacy Charles, Tanglewood Fiber Creations, Threaded Bliss Yarns, Wool and Kashmir, Wool and Willow Needlepoint, Shaker Heights, and Y2Knit. Students complete course work, field work, a report on their experience, and there are evaluations from professors and hosts. For info, call Sherry Mulne at 614-237-0700 or email bdirect@columbus.rr.com.

INTERNS, II. The PiPN program is also expanding beyond Ohio universities where students can participate and earn transferable credits after completing the program.

BASEBALL. TNNA is making paid advertising spots available on StitchNPitch.com, the annual program where needlework enthusiasts attend major and minor league baseball games. The site has had two million+ hits in two years and almost 3,000 loyal "StitchNPitch.com Fans" signed up. For ad info, visit www.tnna.org/portals/1/adform.pdf.

READING. TNNA is supporting Needle and ThREAD, a program launched by member Jen Funk Weber, co-owner of Funk & Weber Designs in Sutton, Alaska, designed to combine needlework and reading. Jen, a needleart designer and children's author, has issued the "2008 Bookmark Challenge." She is encouraging shop owners to collect hand-stitched bookmarks from their customers from Mar. 20 through May 8. The bookmarks will be donated to local libraries and schools in their respective markets as rewards for children’s reading accomplishments during Children’s Book Week May 12-18. Some shops are teaching adults and kids how to stitch bookmarks. TNNA member Gayle Horton, owner of Accents Inc. in Metairie, LA., teaches beginning cross stitch to fourth-graders at a local elementary school. The program also raises money for literacy projects. For info, call Jen Funk Weber at 907-746-5641 or visit http://JenFunkWeber.com for the online Bookmark Challenge Kit.

MEDIA. This month Crochet World, published by DRG, celebrates its 30th anniversary. DRG recently held a sweepstakes and awarded a grand-prize package worth $750+ in needlecraft merchandise. The winner was Diane Davis of Mt. Airy, NC. who said "Winning the grand prize was the biggest event that ever happened to me. I want to thank Crochet World for the thread, yarn, hooks, lamps, and books. I love to crochet for family and friends, and Crochet World has been a big help over all these years."

TV. There is an online petition demanding that the DIY Network produce a new season of its Knitty Gritty series. At last count, 2,851 knitters had signed the petition. To add your name, visit www.petitiononline.com/1234lulu/petition.html.

To see the latest listings by the only personnel recruitment firm specializing in our industry, click on Jobs in the left-hand column or click HERE.

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:

Herman's Hermits: Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
Ringo Starr: I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Bobby Darin: Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Roberta Flack: The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash: I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon: Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver.
Marvin Gaye: Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem: A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer: You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations: Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Helen Reddy: I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
Willie Nelson: On the Commode Again

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